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Female Orgasms, How and Why to Stop Faking ASAP

Women fake. Men (supposedly, but I doubt it) fake as well. I am pretty sure I heard the girl having sex with my neighbor faking it the other night as well. It's a fact of life.

I actually don't fake my orgasms. I hear that women fake due to a sense of politeness or obligation to their partner, which is all fine and dandy, but if you do this for too long, you are NEVER going to have an orgasm with that partner during sex. To me, that is a self-evident fact of the female orgasm.

Women fake. Men (supposedly, but I doubt it) fake as well. I am pretty sure I heard the girl having sex with my neighbor faking it the other night as well. It's a fact of life.

I actually don't fake my orgasms. I hear that women fake due to a sense of politeness or obligation to their partner, which is all fine and dandy, but if you do this for too long, you are NEVER going to have an orgasm with that partner during sex. To me, that is a self-evident fact of the female orgasm.

Another seemingly self-evident fact is that many women are faking for men who aren't taking the time to give their partner's preferences some importance. I mean, who ever comes from the super-fast Jack-Rabbit lightning style of the young? Seriously. I mean, it's true the that the youth have a certain advantage in getting themselves revved up quickly for Round Two, Three, and sometimes even Four, but what good is that when it's quickly over and/or painful? (Sometimes women suffer from anorgasmia, which prevents the woman from orgasming usually due to stress or fatigue, but this isn't what I'm talking about here. For some cases, you might need to see a doctor.)

However, in most situations, I would like a general call arms to women to stop faking with your long-term partners (nobody really cares if you fake with a one-night stand) because you are spreading bad sex and turning out bad partners. Leaving your sexual partner with the impression he is the next Don Juan may boost his ego in the short run, but isn't fair to you or his future partners. You've got to think of the sisterhood, here.

Besides that, it's in your own best interests to train your man. I'm not Doctor Phil and I'm certainly a far cry from Dan "the man" Savage, but I do think there are some alternatives to faking.

1.  Talk to him about Foreplay. Make him rub you, lick you, massage you, rub you with a vibrator, whatever it is you like. If you've always had a secret fetish to try something new, tell him about it. If you don't have a secret fetish already, read Dan Savage together and maybe you'll stumble upon one.

2.  This is going to sound really cheesy, but watch instructional sex videos together, mostly so he can get the angle down. Oftentimes, there has to be direct clitoral stimulation for anything to "magically happen".  Or check out this site demonstrating several positions best suited for women to attain orgasms.

3.  If you're not lubed up enough, by all means use some lube. Trust me, if you're having sex when you're stimulated, but dry, it's not going to feel nice.  If you're "baking bread" with a yeast infection or have a bladder infection, you might want to avoid actual penetration.

4.  Get on top. Be selfish once in a while and move around the way that feels best to you. Believe me, there's a reason it feels good.

5.  I saw a great quote from one woman who responded to a sex survey. "If his finger or my finger's not on the button, nothing's going to happen."  It might be embarrassing the first time, but sometimes you've just got to take matters into your own hands. (literally)

6.  And, of course, what everybody says, but nobody really listens to: it's not going to happen every time. Take the pressure off of yourself, make sure you're comfortable with your partner, and relax and enjoy. There's definitely a reason for the jokes about a Vibrator being better than a man.