I have a zillion guy friends and a few girl friends that are always asking me to hook them up with a friend or find them a nice girl/guy. I am not in any way shape or form a match maker, but I always try to help out when I can. The first thing I tell all my friends – stop looking. That is seriously the best piece of advice I can give anyone. When you are not looking for love (or anything for that matter), it always turns up right in front of your eyes. Ever notice that when you are out shopping for something that you have to have right now, such as a cute mini dress or a nice suit, when you are looking you can never find the right one. A week or two later, you find a million super cute mini dresses or that perfect pin stripe suit. No, this is not because they just came into season, it is because you were looking too hard.
Every single relationship I have been in (and there has been quite a few), I have never once looked for love or a relationship. Since I am never looking, men are always popping in my face. Not just the guys that are fun to date, but amazing guys that would make a great boyfriend and who knows maybe even a great husband or father for my children later down the line. My current boyfriend for example, neither of us was looking for a relationship or love. I had just gotten out of a relationship a few months back and I really wanted to finally have me time and focus on my career goals. Same with my boyfriend, he was really focused on his career and he did not want to date or have any kind of distraction from his career goals, which were within reach. One day we just accidently happen to meet, neither of us looking for it (actually, both NOT looking) and BAM, we were hooked. I am not sure what exactly happened that day, but it must have been fate. We have been together ever since, and we are now even talking marriage.
Have you ever been on a job interview, especially with the way the economy is now, and you just want the job so bad that the employer or your interviewer can smell your desperation and will not hire you because you seem too desperate? That is just as bad as using cheesy pick up lines to get the girl of your dreams. No one wants someone who is overly desperate, even if it is a self conscious thing. So, please, wash out of your mind that you are looking for a partner.
Trust me on this. Like I have stated before, I have had several friends desperate to find the love of their life. Once they stopped looking, they found it. The whole time that they were looking though, they were miserable. Please, just take this one simple piece of advice – STOP looking for love, it will find you!