May-December romance

The appeal of the older man

When seeing an older man holding hands with a significantly younger woman, many onlookers have the tendency to assume that there is something not genuine about the relationship.  Surely, the female cannot truly be in love with the older man.  She must be in it for some sort of monetary gain.  Or is she?Although not in a May-December romantic relationship myself, I can definitely see the appeal of an older man.  The more time a person has spent on this earth, the more wisdom he is able to gain. Therefore, an older man is likely to be a wise man. When he talks, it is easy to get fascinated by what he says. The things that he has accomplished and experienced in his life can cause a younger female to feel great admiration for him. 

In comparison to their younger counterparts, an older man is likely to have achieved more successes in life.  That means he probably has earned a higher ranking in his career, and has become financially-stable.  A man who has achieved a lot in his career and has no signs of money trouble is more likely to attract a female—and not just the gold-digging ones.  Generally speaking, women are just naturally more attracted to men who are great at what they do and are able to help provide for their future family. 

In any relationship, it is common to want to learn and improve ourselves through a relationship with a romantic partner.  When a romantic partner is older, there is plenty to be learned.  So yeah, that can also make an older man appealing.   

Why I don’t Facebook friend my husband

And why it works for us.

Like most other people, I too am on Facebook.  However, unlike most other married women, I am not Facebook friends with my husband.  My husband thinks I am silly for refusing to be friends with him on the social media site, but he is rather okay with it all. My refusal to be Facebook friends with my husband is not due to the fact that I have something to hide.  In actuality, it is because I want to leave a little bit of mystery about myself.  Plus I rather enjoy my personal space.

My husband and I are closer than the average couple.  We have dinner together every night, and we spend almost all of our free time together.  We run and train for marathons together, and we devote a good amount of time to rehearse and perform Vietnamese opera together.  We even do most of our grocery shopping alongside one another.  Therefore, my husband knows just about everything there is to know about me.  For that reason, I find it unnecessary for him to read my latest posting on Facebook.

Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I have always respected each other’s personal space and communications with friends and family.  I would never answer his cell phone, and he would never answer mine.  We also do not read each other’s text messages or emails.  In fact, I have no clue what my husband’s chosen email address password is, and he has no idea how to get into my email account.  We trust each other enough to not have to watch over one another’s personal communications.  So there really is no reason for him to see everything that I post and comment on with my Facebook account.  

Life as a hopeless romantic

The pros and cons

I have always considered myself to be a hopeless romantic.  What does that mean?  It means I have a tendency to fall in love real fast and really hard. There are many things that come with the territory of being a hopeless romantic.  Some are good, and others are really bad.  For that reason, I am unsure whether or not I would actually choose to be a hopeless romantic if the option was mine.

So what is good about being a hopeless romantic?  I believe being a hopeless romantic is what has allowed me to so easily open up to the possibility of falling in love with someone.  Therefore, I rarely ever have to worry about missing out on love simply because of an unwillingness to allow love into my life.  Also, once I do find myself falling for someone, I get to experience all sorts of deep and passionate feelings that I don’t believe non-hopeless romantics are able to fully understand.

Then what are the cons to being a hopeless romantic?  Since I get so overwhelmed with emotions in the beginning of a relationship, it can cause me to overlook quite a bit of things.  For instance, I might not notice that the person I am dating possesses a trait that is unacceptable to me. So I then end up dating the wrong guy for a lot longer than I should have.

Another horrible downside to being a hopeless romantic is that it can cause me to prioritize love too much.  That means I am more willing to sacrifice things all in the name of love.  Doing so can easily complicate other areas of my life.

Are you a hopeless romantic?  And do you think it is a good trait to have?  

Relationship advice from Cosmo

Dating hints from men

I haven’t changed so much over the years and every once in a while, I still like to check out Cosmo magazine for its sizzling advice. One feature in this month’s Cosmo includes relationship advice from men for women. Here’s a run-down of the advice given by the men interviewed by the magazine. 

The advice is a little more clean-cut and focuses more on relationship advice than sex advice. (My apologies to those who were looking for more serious sex advice.) Let’s see if the advice is any good or if you agree with any of it. According to the guys interviewed: 

Delay of texts are ok. Girls should wait for long periods of time until their love interests respond back to them. Hmmm. I say, it takes less than a second to text “k” in response. 


Take initiative in bed once in a while. It should be no problem, right? Just don’t try this on your new gay best friend because this could put him in an awkward position. Literally. 


Let your boyfriend be friends with other girls. I think this depends on the girl. There are some definite nice girls who are totally trustworthy, but there are a few skanky ho-bags out there who should not be near your boyfriend.


Take a compliment and show off your strengths once in a while. If you are a great cook, let people know and invite your boyfriends’ friends and family over to dinner once in a while. 


Give your boyfriend compliments once in a while. Instead of just nitpicking, tell him what you really like about him. 


Stop pretending to like things that your boyfriend does. Some guys like mediocre wishy-washy girls, but if you aren’t one, don’t pretend to be one. (This doesn’t mean you have to go to the opposite extreme just to be belligerent, just that you should be yourself.)


Talk about sex. It might be uncomfortable, but you can both learn what you really like. 


Don’t forget to hold hands and kiss your boyfriend. 


Say what you mean. 


Ditch the guy if you  have been in a relationship with him for over half a year and there isn’t any trust in the relationship. That is unlikely to change. 


Check your ego in at the door before you go on dates with your boyfriend. Don’t talk too much about how great you are or how wonderful you are. If you are really all that great, it will show through in a different way. 


Blast from the past: Beauty and the Beast

The classic 80s fantasy-soapish-drama is now on Netflix!

I may never leave my television again. Oh, this is bad. Netflix already takes so much of my time—dude, you can watch dinosaur documentaries and Walking with Prehistoric Beasts anytime you want!—and now that the classic 80s television show, Beauty and the Beast, is available to stream, I am in so much trouble.

I keep meaning to be productive—you know, write, work, plan field trips, whatever—but I end up going back to that show, starring Ron Pearlman and Linda Hamilton (both completely underused and amazing actors, if I do say so myself), and watching, wide-eyed, as I’m transported back to being a kid standing beside my grandmother, my arms around her neck, smelling that Catillion perfume as we watch this beauty and this beast dance around each other, clearly in love but not ready—or able—to act on their feelings as one serves as the gentle prince of the night and underground, the other a fearless crusader for justice above ground.

Oh, the handsome beast, the gender role reversals, the drama! It’s a crime show fantasy that puts everything I love in one place—including those memories of my beloved grandmother, my best friend who passed away a year before my child was born. I realize that the show fulfills the same plotline every time—Catherine is in trouble! Vincent to the rescue!—with an occasional alteration, but I still adore it, and I know many others do, too.

Disregard the photo completely; it’s only staged that way to attract viewers to a sexy Catherine. But you know what? She usually looked tough, in a business-like suit or dress, rather than a low neckline. And it was Vincent usually mooning over her, not the other way around, as it seems in this picture. If you haven’t seen this show, you are in for a treat! Remember it aired in 1987, so keep that in mind with the effects and such. Vincent is SO the gentle yet terrifying hero that girls who are into, say, Edward the Sparkle Vamp could really get into (and be better off).

And did you hear that the CW will be running a new Beauty and the Beast program this fall (probably replacing the canceled—thank goodness—Secret Circle)? It looks mildly interesting, but the guy isn’t even a beast all of the time! I don’t like that at all; that’s pretty much the burden of being the beast, isn’t it? And I’m already biased with my own show.

Which I’ll be watching, again, later tonight. Thanks a lot, Netflix!


How to go on the perfect beach date

Prepare yourself for a romantic fun-in-the-sun date


Now is the perfect time to go on beach date with your boyfriend since the weather's heating up all over the country. Proper planning of how you both are going determines the success of your date. For example, you don't want to feel like a lobster half way through it. Bring along the necessary items such as sunscreen, food and water, beach chairs and a bucket, should you both decide you want to engage in other activities while you're there.


Pack everything you need before you go including food, drinks, sunscreen, big plastic bags and any items that will enhance your beach date. Some fun beach items you may want to include are books, a pail to store sea shells in and a shovel if you and your date decide you want to build a sand castle.


Arrive at the beach early to pick out a good spot for the two of you to hang out at. For example, the closest beach to where my husband and I live is Daytona Beach, Florida. Since it's such as popular vacation destination, my husband and I try to get there early because so many people visit during the warmer months in Florida. Picking a location that offers some sort of shade works for those times when you need to get out of the sun for awhile.


Keep aware of how much time the two of you spend in the sun because when the rays are at their peak you can find yourself with a sunburn before you know it. Reapply your sunscreen every few hours to ensure adequate protection because otherwise, you might wind up having to cut the date short when one or both of you burns. Up the romantic atmosphere by applying your honey's sunscreen for him or her.


Drink plenty of fluids while you're the beach because if you don't you run the risk of experiencing dehydration. Juice and water are good choices when it comes to what you drink while you're hanging out in the sand. Consume twice as much water for every cup of coffee or alcohol you have. Putting a bit of planning into your beach date ensures that the two of you enjoy romance without any annoying repercussions such as forgetting sunscreen.


Romantic You: Feeling Sexy is Being Sexy

In a world of airbrushed megastars and lingerie-clad supermodels in wings, it's sometimes hard to stop looking in the mirror and judging ourselves against the bombshells we're told are every man's ideal. Feeling like you don't measure up to these ridiculously rare, and often digitally or surgically enhanced beauties can leave a gal feeling less than sexy. And when we're not feeling sexy, it's much harder to feel romantic.


Despite what the fashion industry is trying to sell, beauty and sex appeal doesn't come from hours with makeup artists and hair stylists. It's about confidence and feeling good about yourself. That doesn't come from a bottle of dye, liposuction or $500 pair of stilettos. It comes from knowing yourself and treating yourself to the things that make you feel sexy in your own skin.


What makes you feel feminine and romantic? A special perfume? A hot new bra and panty set? Wearing your husband's faded college tee-shirt? Whatever it is that makes you feel good about you—do it! Those little things that make you feel good about yourself will have you smiling, confident and feeling a little romantic.


And, much like a sassy snowball, the better and more romantic you're feeling, the more vibes you're going to be putting out to your partner. And that's not only sexy, but intoxicating. Seeing his reaction to your saucy confidence will only fuel your desire for intimacy and romance. It's a snowball effect that you'll both enjoy.


Don't waste time comparing yourself to any other woman. None of us are the same and that's how we're meant to be. After all, wasn't it your individual beauty that caught his eye in the first place?

3 Ways to Brag About Your Other Half

It's easy during the first couple of years of your relationship to sing the praises of your other half, when the hormones are still dancing through your system. People you know at this point probably run the other way to avoid yet another boasting session about your honey. What happens after the initial hormones die down and yet your still together? Do you compliment your significant other in front of your friends or family? I still find nice things about my husband and report them to others. However, I know that I do it less than I did when we were first together. As I thought about this fact I realized it would benefit our relationship if I complimented him in front of other people more often. According to a Redbook magazine agrees with me from what I read in an article titled “17 5 Minute Marriage Makeovers” written by Colleen Oakley.

  • Pick a time when you're out to dinner with friends or family. Tell him how much you love how he dressed up and go on to talk about how he knows how to dress to impress
  • Look to compliment him while the two of you and some friends are walking out of a movie theater together and he just picked the best show. Say something to the effect of "Wow, you sure do know how to pick a movie even I like and I'm picky."
  • Take a moment when you're on the phone and he's sitting at the kitchen table going over paperwork and tell whomever your talking to how organized he or is.


These are just a few ideas to get you started and you'll find yourself amazed at the results. He or she will most likely start complimenting you in return, making for a stronger commitment for both of you in the long run.




Communications and Romance When You're Away on Business

With today's technology, you're only a send button apart...

Nowadays, many couples are separated for short, and sometimes long, periods of time for business travel. While it's true to a degree that absence makes the heart grow fonder, it still stinks when you have to be apart. Luckily, along with the increased need for business travel has come many ways to stay in contact while you're apart. Even though it's better to have that special someone to cuddle up with every night, there are ways that you can stay close via technology.

Ten years ago, basic cellphones were a huge advance in communications. All of a sudden, you didn't have to wait until both parties were by a land line to have a conversation. Cellphones made it possible to share a chat whenever and wherever. But that still wasn't good enough. Plans and service areas were extremely limited and the cost of those conversation could be sky-high if you ran over your minutes.

Nowadays, the cellphones of yesteryear almost seem laughable. Not only can you hear your lover's voice, but see him via video chat on many of the smartphones available. Plus, there are so many great networks available, prices are relatively low and the coverage even worldwide is amazing.

And, beyond cellphones, many hotels that accommodate business travelers have free wi-fi available so you can hop onto your laptop or tablet and video chat into the wee hours of the morn if you want to. You no longer have to settle for a quick conversation governed by collect calls or calling cards. You can see and hear each other, share photos from your day and text a sexy or sweet goodnight, every night you're apart.

There's nothing more romantic than staying in touch and sharing your day with the one you love while one of you is away on business. That connection brings comfort and offers an opportunity to really show each other how much you truly mean to one another.

The Importance of Spending Quality Time with Other Couples

My husband and I were married a year ago but we have yet to meet any good couple friends to hang out with. Most of our friends are single and without kids so it makes it hard for us to go out with them at times and find something we all can agree on to do. One of our goals for this year, now that our daughter is turning one and a bit more ready to take on the world, is to meet other couples with young children. It appears that the experts agree with my goal because, according to Time Magazine's Heartland Edition, hanging out with other couples can enhance our own connection with each other. Not only that, our kids can all hang out and get the benefit of forging a new friendship.

The hard part of this equation involves actually getting the chance to meet other young couples because, in the age of Facebook and text messaging, it's becoming harder and harder to manage face-to-face relationships. Hanging out in person instead of spending time communicating through email benefits us in several ways including adding years onto our life expectancy, according to the article titled “Why Hanging Out With Couple-Friends Enhances Romance,” written by Bonnie Rochman for “Time” magazine.


I took the time to think up locations where my husband and I could get past the ice-breaker stage. The most obvious was right in front of me: the playground. Our baby could have her fun while we talked to other moms and dads playing with their children. Other ideas that came to my mind included at the doctor's office, in-person meet up groups and at the park. The easiest method for us is by far the playground and our first experience, which happened this weekend, didn't yield a friendship but we did talk to a few other couples. I imagine that if we keep going back at least one of those encounters could turn into a lasting friendship.