Sex and Marriage: InfidelityDifferent sex drives in a relationship does NOT equal the freedom to cheat at will; however, there will always be those partners who stray while whining about their spouses’ sex drive or lack thereof, which is complete and utter BS. There are plenty of alternatives for partners to explore together to resolve the situation that don’t involve cheating. See HERE for some ideas on how to work with different sex drives in relationships.


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This is part II (Part I is HERE) in a short series about everybody’s favorite topic- Marriage and Sex and will specifically focus on ways for couples manage the difficulty of non-matching sex drives. Some men (and some women as well) take the low sex drives of their spouses as a license to cheat- John Edwards, whose wife had breast cancer,  is one of the more recent examples of this.

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This song has always made me kind of angry. Yes, it has a funky beat that you almost have to dance to. Yes, it’s cute to watch the Chipettes from Alvin and the Chipmunks wiggle around to it and sing it in high-pitched voices. But when it comes down to it, declaring that a person needs to “put a ring on it” if they want to be with you is pretty lame—whether you’re male or female.

If the concept was only about commitment, that’s valid. I think that people deserve to have healthy, committed relationships in which they can trust their partners, raise a family, and live happy lives. But attaching a piece of jewelry into the equation randomly isn’t about love or commitment; it’s about archaic rituals, commercialism, and often death in the case of child mine workers.

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It's funny and occasionally unsettling just how dependent perception is on language comprehension. When it comes to describing complex emotional experiences, words are often both insufficient and our only means of communication. As with everything in spoken language, emotional expression is a struggle between exactness and parsimony. Perhaps no concept is as difficult to convey as love. Maybe it's not so much because the emotion is too complex, but because the word itself isn't fit to do the job.

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Love FeetIn what I am assuming is an Onion-style satire article (a pdf is linked about half-way down the page), the Oklahoma Partisan Real-Ass Fake-Ass News reported that a female lawmaker had backed a mandatory foreplay proposal, calling for all men to perform a minimum of ten minutes of foreplay before intercourse.  As usual, the bill was divided across party lines with one male representative claiming that the female orgasm is little more than a myth.


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Contented Cow SyndromeAn older friend was the first to let me in on the sad phenomenom of “contented cow syndrome” or the reality that once singles become couples, they get a little more comfortable, chew on their cud, sit on their couches, and gain what is usually the equivalent of the freshmen fifteen. Science, being a little late to this reality, has just confirmed this sad fact.

According to this NYT article, a recent study found that a 140 pound  childless single woman will gain 11 pounds over ten years, a married (or partnered) woman who has had a kid will gain 20 pounds over the same ten years, and 11 pounds if she is married but has no kids.


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Same sex marriage has long been a contentious topicGay marriage is continuing to be a hot button issue with lawmakers, and continuing to be a contentious issue even in California. In a case that challenges California’s Prop 8, two same sex couples are making their case, along with lawyers to a California court, that they should be able to be legally married. Same-sex marriage is legal in 5 states and the District of Columbia as of the end of 2009. In others, gay couples have the option of entering into a domestic partnership, though often there are significant legal differences between that and marriage.

"Being able to call him my husband is so definitive," said Paul Katami, one of the men who is suing for the right to marry his partner.

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A snowy romantic retreat of warmth by a fireplace,

To beaches of pink sand and tranquil waters of turquoise blue,

Places that give faith and take my breath away,

Could it be all in His plans to be one body and soul,

The touch of one's hand and the warmth of our bodies when they meet,

The hot and steamy love making until dawn breaking,

Sighs of pleasure coming together as our hearts racing through the tender embrace,

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