I’m going to let you in on a secret of mine: I like control. I’m high maintenance, bossy and (if we’re going to be honest with each other) I can be a b*tch. I realize this doesn’t paint me in a flattering light, but I’m okay with that. My husband probably wants to kill me half the time, but you can’t have day without night. If I wasn’t so utterly unbearable at times, our sex life sure as hell wouldn’t be as dynamic as it is. Seriously, think about it. Create a mental picture of all the women you know and which ones have the most satisfying sex life. I guarantee you, the ones that come to mind will be the more dominant, the more assertive; the b*tches.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve got a tendency to exaggerate. Perhaps using the word b*tch is a bit harsh; after all, no one likes a mean girl. However, you don’t have to be mean to assert yourself. Men don’t like the quiet, mousey girl. Interviewers don’t notice her and neither does anyone else. The mousey girl commands no attention. She doesn’t get the job, she doesn’t do anything extraordinary and she certainly doesn’t get the man. I’m not saying you should be cocky. Cockiness is beyond nauseating to anyone around you, but confidence is essentially necessary for any girl who wants something in life.

Take a look in the mirror. Do you see a sexy, dominant tigress? Or is there a timid, meek little mouse staring cautiously back at you? Sweet is good. Compassion, loyalty and dependability are great aspects of a woman’s personality. Timid and meek? Not so much. Stand up tall whether you’re wearing stilettos, sneakers or flip-flops. Throw a little command in your voice, be persistent, know your worth and watch the world fall in place before you. We all have a tigress inside us and I guarantee it’ll rock your world (and his!) if you let her out for a little bit. Feed the animal and revel in the sweetness of dominance. Too many women are afraid to do this!

One more thing before I go: don’t forget to soften that dominance a bit. Men need to feel control too, sometimes. Let him man-handle you in the bedroom, make him breakfast or even ask for help opening a pickle jar. Making him feel needed is just as important as letting him know how independent you are. Translation: Your man will always be a man. Regardless of how much he loves your confidence, he wants to wear the pants too. So don’t be a b*tch about it…