Flirting Outside of Marriage: How Much is too Much?
My guy has a wide circle of friends and let's face it, some of them are hot. They look nice in board shorts on hot summer days at the pool, and let's just say that they wear their jeans well. I'm a loyal wife- in my long marriage, I've never cheated, but I definitely can't say I haven't looked, thought about, or even fantasized about people that I definitely shouldn't be even thinking about and I KNOW my husband has done the same. But what I'm wondering today, is if it is okay to flirt?
When I go out with the girls, I sometimes talk to guys. And I would like to stress that I TALK only. No making out, no grinding on them, and I definitely don't give anyone my digits, which are top-secret, but I do, however, sometimes flirt. I don't tell the guys they are good-looking or anything, but I enjoy talking to them and laughing at their jokes. I don't always mention the fact that they will not be getting anything from me due to the fact that my husband would more than likely would not take that too kindly. Is that wrong?
How about flirting and getting touchy with my husband's friends? Is that so bad? My guy's friends are friendly. I am likely to get the occasional spank on the ass, grab around my waist, or get teased about something. It doesn't really bother me and I never object, but I wonder if I'm crossing any lines that I shouldn't be crossing. He's never said anything about it and "jokes around" with their wives, too.
I usually don't mind it when he flirts with my friends, but I do draw the line at comments like, "Wow- your friend __________ is really fricking hot these days." The worst was a "friend" of ours who decided to straddle the gear shift in her skirt right between us in our pick up to save a little room. She was the same girl who rode on his lap for an entire subway ride while I sat next to him wondering why she couldn't find her own man to "ride". If she's wondering why is she is no longer my Facebook friend, she doesn't have to wonder any longer.
Does that make me a hypocrite or just a normal woman who likes a little extra attention now and again?
Comments
I think you're alright...
all human interaction is based on attracting and repelling. it is natural to be attracted to more than one person. i think the line is drawn on a mental level. though physical actions can influence the mental so be careful. flirting is ok within reason.
Thanks- I just saw this! So
Thanks- I just saw this! So far, I haven't kissed any gay men on the dance floor, but you never know....
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=3096072&hpr
I think flirting is perfectly
I think flirting is perfectly fine, depending on the type of flirting. Lighthearted mutual complments and jokes which are meant to feed each other's ego are fine. For me it crosses the line when it turns into the "I want to get in your pants" style of flirting. Basically, it shouldn't be sexual at all, and it shouldn't suggest an actual desire to get together. It should be the kind of flirting you'd feel comfortable doing with a relative stranger, or somebody in your parents' generation.
For me, ass slapping would be out of bounds if I was in a relationship, because it suggests a physical intimacy that only my romantic partners are allowed. On the other hand, mutual compliments, or helping somebody adjust his tie, or playful teasing are all within the range of friendship interaction.
I'm pretty protective of my personal space, though. If anybody I'm not dating touches my ass in any way, I'm going to get really pissed off. Unless they somehow attempt to ascertain whether their touch is welcome, the term for that is sexual harassment. That person would likely get cut out of my social circle.
I can definitely understand
I can definitely understand your point about flirting in a sexual manner being out of bounds- I think everyone has their boundaries. And it should be understood quite clearly that the list of people I would let slap my ass in an inappropriate manner is very, very small....becksta