Cheaters Will Always Be Cheaters

I am not sure if I fully agree with the phrase, “Cheaters will always be cheaters” or “once a cheater, always a cheater”.  I think mostly, yes, that is correct, but I also think that once the cheater finds someone that they cannot live without or once they are ready to settle down, that some (not all) will no longer cheat.  I, on the other hand will not stay with a guy if he cheats on me, but I have seen people who have cheated in the past, find someone that they are passionate about and never cheat again.  I have also seen people who have cheated and promised to no longer cheat, cheat. 

I bring this up, because a friend of mine is living with her boyfriend.  He has cheated on her at least twice that she knows of and this last time was just last night.  He was caught out in Hollywood making out with another girl and she told me that he did not come home till after six this morning and then headed off to work.  Since they live together, it makes this situation difficult, even more so because she is currently unemployed and could not really move out even if she wanted to (unless a nice friend like me offered to let her stay until she gets back on her feet).  From what another friend had told me, they had broken up after this first time he had cheated, but trust me, I have been in a situation where I lived with a boyfriend and we broke up, but I could not move out (Hollywood is EXPENSIVE), so we remained civil and still “dated” until I officially moved out and then we ‘officially’ ended it.

So, my poor friend, who is absolutely gorgeous, smart, humble, talented and a size two now feels like if this low-life jack ass does not love her, who will.  Her self esteem has gone to the dump, and why?  OMG- I have been trying to tell her all day that she is better than he is, obviously, and that she is better off without him (everything you tell a friend once she breaks up with her boyfriend, or has a jerk for a boyfriend, etc).  Of course when you are in the relationship though, everything is different.  You see what people are saying, but they are not directly involved in the relationship like you are, so it is never as easy as it sounds.  My friend is currently applying for associate producer positions at high network companies and shows, she is amazing, I kid you not and she is only 26. 

Why are people such jackasses?  If you are in a committed relationship and you are no longer interested in your partner, freakin’ break it off before you start dating, screwing or making out with someone else.  Grow some balls and be honest for once in your life!  Urgh!


Anonymous's picture


She's a size 2 and he cheated on her?


I am crushed, CRUSHED. I thought people only cheated when the girl was like a size 8 heifer.



anonymous's picture


i dont think it's the size, it's the relationship if one of you become cold that't the cheating comes along.
my 10 yrs dp cheated on me three times, i have good job, we started as good friend and ended in relationship and almost to the point to get married, we even bought our own place twice and the most important of all we had a son and he still cheat on me. I am just a nice as hell that's why it ended up 3 times. but once the relationship went from sweet to sour the once beautiful relationship that you have before it will totally end up. The good thing about this we end up good friend again and it's not for us it's for the sake of our son. it is what it is.. it's not the look, not how big or sexy or skinny you are , it's not how well you treat the person, it's how you felt for that person. and once you fell out of love it will never be the same again. just saying.


The Dude's picture

The Dude

Sorry, but yes, a cheater's always a cheater, take it from a guy.  It doesn't matter how cute your friend is, or how talented or how anorexic, the fact is that is he has been unable to commit to even the most perfect woman- by your standards, that is- then guess what honey? --he will ALWAYS do it. 

The reason is that the type of guy who cheats usually does it compulsively, it has to do with his own self-esteem or unresolved issues he might have about relationships.... OR he simply doesn't respect the woman, which it sounds like that's the reason your friends boyfriend cheated on her.  As "great" as she might be, you don't know what kind of relationship she really has with her man,  For all you know they might not have any sexual chemistry/ compatibilty and he feels the need to satisfy himself with other women.

I'm sure your friend is a "wonderful person" but she sounds like a real doormat too, and she puts up with her boyfriend's infidelity because she gets the attention and pity of her friends. Otherwise, she would put her dignity and self-respect above anything else.